My high school reunion is in a couple months. 10 years---how the time flies. It seems like I will be in a situation all too common for me. Standing alone among a sea of moms and soon-to-be moms. I guess the only high point will be that I can drink and stay out as late as I want because I'm not pregnant and I don't have to get home to the babysitter...so why doesn't that make me feel better?
I want to be rushing home to kiss pudgy cheeks goodnight. I want to be round and plump and complaining that my feet don't fit into my heels and my dress makes me look fat...because it means I am carrying a beautiful life inside of me. I want all of that. But I don't have that. And I don't know when---or if---I will have that.
Today we went to a work event for the husband. As usual, we were one of the only couples without kids. All the parents were hot and uncomfortable having to chase their kids around and keep track of them while not getting to enjoy themselves or even sit down and talk to grownups. That's usual when they tell me "you are so smart to wait to have kids."
And I wished it was me. Oh how I wished it was me out there.
On another note, my thoughts are with Risa over at http://whoshotdownmystork.blogspot.com/. I'm so sorry you are going through this.