Last night, the husband mentioned doing IVF in February. He said to just get the medicine and then hold off until next month. I knew we were headed toward IVF, but that scares me. Also, we don't know what is going to happen with his mom. Although we are all obviously hoping for the best, we don't know what the future holds. I told him that I don't want him dealing with the pressure and stress of trying to make a baby when he should be focused on his mom. Beyond that, I don't want to bring a child into the world under those kind of circumstances. I want a child brought into this world in a place of love and peace, not a world of stress, pressure, and grieving. I don't know what to do at this point.
And I don't know how to bring all this up with my doctor. The truth is, he is as difficult to talk to as he is to understand. I don't doubt that he is smart and good at getting people pregnant...I have heard the success stories from people I actually know. But I don't know how they ever got anywhere with him when he seems to be all over the place. I guess I am just feeling confused and a little lost. And I am worried about my mother-in-law. And I miss my husband. And I am sick. And apparently I am just feeling sorry for myself.
Just had to get the thoughts out so they stopped bouncing around in my head.