Sorry, I have not really been around for the last few days. We have been home in California with the husband's family. We came here to be with my mother-in-law, but she passed yesterday. I know that she is no longer in pain and that she is now in peace, but it is still a very sad time for my family. I feel lucky that I was able to come home to see her and to say goodbye. But I am sad and angry that she is gone.
I am sad that she will never get to see her baby (my husband) be a dad. I am sad that my child(ren) will never get to know her. She was a wonderful, giving, unselfish person that loved being a grandmother so much. Her family was her life, and you could tell that by the number of people that were by her side when she died.
I am angry that my body is messed up somehow and I was unable to produce a grandchild for her before she died. I am angry that my husband had to lose his mom at such a young age. And I am angry that my father-in-law has lost his soulmate.
I have a hard time when the husband leaves for just a few weeks or months, and I cannot imagine losing him for good. While I do not pray because I don't know what I believe in, my thoughts are with my husband's family during this hard time. More than ever, I am glad that we will be moving closer to home so that we can help and support the family. Please keep our family in your thoughts.