Monday, January 21, 2013

Sad times...

Sorry, I have not really been around for the last few days.  We have been home in California with the husband's family.  We came here to be with my mother-in-law, but she passed yesterday.  I know that she is no longer in pain and that she is now in peace, but it is still a very sad time for my family.  I feel lucky that I was able to come home to see her and to say goodbye.  But I am sad and angry that she is gone.

I am sad that she will never get to see her baby (my husband) be a dad.  I am sad that my child(ren) will never get to know her.  She was a wonderful, giving, unselfish person that loved being a grandmother so much.  Her family was her life, and you could tell that by the number of people that were by her side when she died.

I am angry that my body is messed up somehow and I was unable to produce a grandchild for her before she died.  I am angry that my husband had to lose his mom at such a young age.  And I am angry that my father-in-law has lost his soulmate.

I have a hard time when the husband leaves for just a few weeks or months, and I cannot imagine losing him for good.  While I do not pray because I don't know what I believe in, my thoughts are with my husband's family during this hard time.  More than ever, I am glad that we will be moving closer to home so that we can help and support the family.  Please keep our family in your thoughts.


  1. Oh Steph, I'm so sorry. That has to be so hard. My thoughts are definitely with you guys during this time. I hope you can find some peace.

  2. Steph, I am so sorry to read this. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts. I understand your pain and anger. We lost my father in law 41 days after our wedding in 2011. It was so hard, and we miss him everyday. Hugs.

  3. Please except my condolences. My heart goes out to your family during this difficult time. I lost my father when I was 25 and it was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. Hoping as days and weeks pass, things will get a little easier.