And the madness begins...

Well, I have finally decided to do it.  I am going to put all my crazy thoughts out there and let the random people of the internet judge me for them.  I figured I have read enough blogs and judged enough people to deserve the same treatment, so here goes nothing.

I would like to start by telling you a little story:

There once was a girl and a boy that fell in love.  The boy decided that he wanted to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a soldier, and even though the girl had sworn up and down that she could never live that kind of life, she surprised herself by telling him to pursue his dream (deep down thinking that it would never actually happen).  Fast forward to a couple of months later...the boy has signed a contract with the Army and the two of them decide to get married before he leaves.  I know what you're thinking: big cliche, right?  Anyways, they got married, he joined the Army, and they lived happily ever after...

....well, maybe it wasn't that easy.  After all, this is not a Disney movie, and it would make for a pretty boring blog.  So, now let's get down to the nitty gritty.  For those of you (notice how optimistic I am that people will actually read this someday) that have not figured it out, the girl in this story is me and the boy is my wonderful husband.  Yes, we are still in love.  And yes, he did join the Army.  But we are still looking for our happily ever after.  Why, you ask?  I am lucky to have a husband that serves our country and loves me despite all my flaws.  Some may say that is the dream and I should count my blessings.  And I do.  But the problem is, we are still missing something.

Here is the boring part where I explain the name of my blog.  You see, I am now an Army wife....but I have no children.  A childless Army wife?  That is the ultimate oxymoron.  For those that are not familiar with this lifestyle, you may not understand this.  While I cannot speak for other branches of the military, I can say that Army bases are filled with mothers and children, and most of those mothers are much younger than me.  FRG (Family Readiness Group) events are planned around children...the commissary is filled with people trying to wrangle their 5 kids...and when you go to the military doctor and tell them you don't have children yet, you get "the look" (concern, surprise, etc.).  For a person not ready for children yet, this may go unnoticed.  For a woman that desperately wants a child, this can be torture.

You see, the husband and I have been trying to get pregnant since we got married...and we actually stopped preventing several months before we were married.  We just celebrated our 4-year anniversary...so you do the math.  I will talk about the full journey in a later post, but for now let's just agree that the problem is more than just "bad luck" as the doctors have told me.

Don't worry, I do not plan on this whole blog being about infertility.  But since I plan to post about my whole life, it will definitely be included.  There will be happy and sad posts, and that there will be a fair share of TMI I'm sure, but hopefully at some point I will be able to post about the loveliness of morning sickness and swollen ankles and sleepless nights.  Feel free to follow along and comment if you feel the urge.  Welcome!